Marshmellow Fluff

Dear Citibank:

We’ve had a good friendship.  I say “good” because there have been a few transgressions over the course of our friendship that has given me pause.  I thought I should write this letter to get a few things off my chest so we can move on and go our separate ways.  It is time.

Citibank you came into my life years ago when I was still a teenager.  I moved out of the house and you were with me.  You were there to buy me things to furnish my new apartment, to buy groceries when I was short on cash.  Citibank you were even there to lend me money for pizza when it was my turn to buy for my roommates.  You made me feel rich Citibank…you made me feel like no matter what, I was taken care of.

And Citibank let me set the record straight and remind you that I never abused you.  I never used you to buy shoes, expensive purses or extravagant items.  I was realistic and frugal in our relationship and only leaned on you to make ends meet or in emergencies.  I can’t tell you how many times you rescued me from car troubles, Jack’s surgery and every once in a while you were there to help me buy Christmas presents for friends and family.

Don’t get me wrong, we had some good times.  Remember that one time we went to the bar together and I left you there!  Man, I was so scared that someone else would have taken you home and I rushed back the next morning to go and pick you up.  Luckily you were still there waiting for me.  If I hadn’t said so before I am really sorry I left without you, that was definitely not something a friend should do to a friend.  On a good note though I didn’t leave you completely alone…you did have my driver’s license with you for company.

The thing is Citibank we did have fun but as I grow older I realize, maybe our friendship isn’t the best thing for me.  It seems like you give to me, which is nice, but you ask for so much more in return. Remember the pizza you let me borrow money for?  Well, as it turns out in an odd way I am still paying for it!  I know it sounds crazy Citibank, it did to me too, but I really am still paying for that pizza I bought 10 years ago! That’s because every dollar you let me borrow, you asked for like $3 in return!

That made me start thinking, what kind of friend does that?  A friend wouldn’t ask for 3 times more in return for every nice thing they did for someone.  That is, at least the kind of friend I try to be.

I realize I have done my part in this friendship and I have to take ownership but Citibank I don’t want to be your friend anymore.  From this day forward you are no longer invited to go to dinner with me, I will not be interested in going to the mall with you…I don’t even want you around this Christmas!  And don’t even try to lure me back by promising to pick up the tab…because Citibank every time you have offered I end up paying for it anyhow.

I am onto you Citibank.  Every time I have tried to sever our friendship you promise you will ask for less in return.  You tell me that instead of asking for 15% you will only ask for 12%…some people never change!  The thing is you are a liar.  You tell me you won’t ask for a lot in return and then I take you somewhere- you lend me money you turn around and ask for 30%.  It’s just not fair Citibank, I don’t want people like you in my life anymore.

I realize I owe you a lot Citibank.  I will repay you over time, because that is the kind of friend I am.  But do your best to understand that I have more important friends in my life-like rent, groceries and the gas company who I will choose to hang out with and spend money on WAY before I spend money on you.  Because unlike you, they bring something of value to my life and I am thankful to them for that.

Oh and one more thing, if you call me don’t be surprised if it goes straight to voicemail.

Merry Christmas,

Stacy

Tagged: Money or Lack Thereof