Venus Ur An Anus
February 10th, 2010 § 1 Comment
I question wether or not there is a God. Were there a God, he would have made men and women more compatible. I mean, seriously, men and women think differently, operate differently, solve problems differently…its like we may as well be a different species. And because of said differences, men and woman are locked in a constant battle as they move towards greater understanding of one another.
For instance, men can literally only do one thing at a time. Women can plan a meal, mentally shop for that meal and arrange the seating chart for an upcoming party in the Spring, all while driving to work. Men can’t have sex and at the same time be thinking, “I should really practice that song more if I have any chance of improving in Guitar Hero.” They can’t watch TV, answer a question and actually retain that conversation. Men cannot take their shoes off AND pick them up. Multi-tasking is a burden reserved for women. And I say burden because women are highly aware of everything and, as a result, can ignore nothing. It’s like the stuff left at the bottom of the stairs is blood in the water and women are sharks drawn in to cast them off to the places they belong. Men however, well they can walk past the same pile of crap for weeks, maybe even months, before they even notice them. And then, years later, will they actually consider picking them up and putting them away. Women understand the necessity for multi-tasking because there isn’t enough time in the day to just do one thing at a time.
But isn’t there something to be said about the ability to be present in the here and now? Have men possibly figured out the true pathway to Zen? Are they the greater species because they can only do and think one thing at a time? Buddhists are constantly striving to stay in the Now, so why is it a bad thing that men are totally present in the task at hand? Men don’t watch TV and replay the day in their head picking it apart for imperfections. They don’t drive and daydream about what could be better or what they have to do later that night, they just drive. Women ask men what they are thinking and get pissed when they say, “nothing.” Well maybe we shouldn’t be pissed, maybe we should be impressed.
Men and women have vastly different ways of looking at their bodies. Women are critical about the way they look. We are overly aware of every pucker, every dimple, every roll. It is because of this horrible affliction that we want to have sex in the dark, that we rush for the comfort of the covers. Men, well they can look like ass but still want to have sex on the hood of a pickup truck in rush hour traffic at high noon.
We stew men move on. We cry, men become irreverent. We move against one another because of our inability to completely appreciate how different we are. And we stay in that limbo because we don’t know how to speak the other persons’ language.
I try every day to appreciate the differences between Paul and I, yet fail miserably most of the time. When I have conversations with him and his recall of them is non-existent, I immediately think it is because he doesn’t care what I have to say. I don’t take into consideration that I barfed information on him while he watched the DaVinci Code, and that his ability to retain my information, AND keep track of where Tom Hanks was in finding the killer, was too much to ask. If Paul accepts that I wake him up in the middle of the night to ask him a question about our Christmas plans and it’s only the month of February, then shouldn’t I accept that the TV needs to be on mute when I have something important to tell him?
We are different, but that’s the beauty and struggle of it. Paul balances my pessimism, he calms my racing thoughts and he reassures me when I am sure something horrific is on the horizon. So shouldn’t picking up his shoes and dirty laundry off the bathroom floor be the least I can do?
First of all, this title and post is IN!SPIRED! Secondly, this makes me want to throw myself into that crazy world of relationships. So much learning and growing and loving and eating and video-gaming. I love it!