Marshmellow Fluff

Last night I watched the ever popular, “To Catch a Predator” on Dateline and it dawned on me…I am a terrible person.  Terrible because I’m upset every episode I see is a repeat.  What is going on Dateline! You always show the same rabbi on linoleum floor begging for forgiveness.  It is always the same wide-eyed shirtless guy pouring himself a glass of sweet tea. Where is my new series, Dateline?  When are you going to entertain me with something I haven’t seen, Dateline?  When will I get to see new creepy pedophiles who send internet photos of their junk and bring lube and wine coolers to a strange house in the suburbs?  And while I have your attention Dateline…why does the girl who runs the operation have the most terrible version of a 14-year olds wig on?

And that is when I realized how terrible I am.  Shouldn’t I be happy about the lack of new episodes?  Shouldn’t I be pleased at the thought of less pedophiles in the world because of Dateline’s investigative reporting, instead of cursing the TV for failing to satiate my desire for real life drama and despair?  Shouldn’t I be happy instead of wishing they could do some sort of “All Star” spinoff of “To Catch a Predator”, like they do for “The Real World vs. Road Rules Challenge”.  Quite possibly the shortage of new eposides is because the pedophile community is becoming more camera shy.  Maybe they are less willing to take photos of their junk, less inclined to be on TV.  Maybe they are just more faithful to their wives or to their Gods.  Or maybe it is just that the series had gotten so popular the pedophile comminity was all:

“You will have a pitcher of Sweet Tea on the counter?”

“You live in a house in the burbs?”

“Bring Lube and wine coolers?”

“Wait a minute….Chris Hanson, is this you?!”